NARRATOR: Ah, The Krusty Krab,
Bikini Bottom's premiere daytime eatery
where it'll be closing time right... about...
now!
8:00.
So long, suckers!
I've got a hot date with a little lady
and her name is Clarinet.
( knock at door )
What?
Are you open?
Read the sign.
I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe
and a double chili kelp fries.
No, you won't.
I can't hang out here all night. l've got a life.
Well, fine, if you don't want my money.
MR. KRABS: Money?
( whistling on descent )
You mean, if we stayed open later,
you'd give us your money?
Sure.
Mr. Squidward, welcome to the night shift.
From now on, The Krusty Krab is open 24 hours a day.
What?
( clamoring )
Wow!
Now we never have to stop working.
Mr. Krabs...
See you in the morning, boys.
I can't hang out here all night. I got a life.
Mr. Krabs...
Isn't this great, Squidward?
Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours?
And then the sun'll come up?
And it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working.
( gasping ): It'll be just like a sleepover!
Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease!
Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
No.
Good, 'cause we've got customers!
Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.
Psst. Squidward.
I'm working in the kitchen...
( giggles ): At night.
Don't hold back.
Hey, Squidward, guess what?
I'm chopping lettuce... at night.
Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom...
at night.
Ow! I burned my hand!
At night.
Night, night, night, night,
night, night, night, night,
♪ n-n-n-ight! ♪
Night!
Will you, please?!
Here, give me a moment's peace and take out the trash.
All right.
Taking out the trash.
Taking out the trash, at n...
( brakes squeal )
( scary music plays )
You mean, outside?
That's where the dumpster is, yes.
l don't know, Squidward, it's kind of dark out there.
But I thought you liked the night shift.
You're right.
For The Krusty Krab!
( screaming )
( screaming continues )
( gasping )
( snaps fingers ) Piece of cake.
So, you're not afraid?
Pfft! Nah.
Well, I am, especially after...
( gulps )
well, you know.
What? What do I know?
You don't remember? It was all over the news.
Tell me. Tell me.
No, no, no,
I-I probably shouldn't.
lt would ruin the night shift for you.
What happened? What happened? What happened?
You mean you've never heard the story of the...
"Hash-Slinging Slasher"?
The Slash-Bringing Hasher?
The Hash-slinging Slasher.
The Sash-Wringing...
the Trash-Singing... Mash-Flinging...
the Flash-Springing... Wringing...
the-the Crash
Dinging... uh....
Yes, the Hash-Slinging Slasher.
But...
most people just call him the Ha... ( gasps )
because that's all they have time to say
before he...
gets them! ( gasps )
Tell me the story!
Years ago, at this very restaurant,
the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook
just... like...
you.
Only clumsier.
And then one night,
when he was cutting the patties,
it happened.
He forgot the secret sauce? No.
He didn't wash his hands? No.
lrregular portions? No!!
He cut off his own hand by mistake.
You mean like this?
Or like this? Or this?
Or this?
But what about this? Or this? Or this?
Or this?! Or...
Except he wasn't a sponge.
So?
So it didn't grow back!
( screaming )
And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula.
And then he got hit by a bus!
And at his funeral,
they fired him!
So now, every... what day is it?
Tuesday.
...Tuesday night, his ghost returns to The Krusty Krab
to wreak his horrible vengeance.
( gasps )
But tonight's Tuesday night.
Then he'll be coming.
How will we know?
There are three signs that signal the approach
of the Hash-Slinging Slasher.
First, the lights will flicker on and off...
next...
Dude, can I have some ketchup?
Oh. Here you go.
Next...
the phone will ring, and there will be nobody there.
And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher
arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over!
Then he exits the bus and crosses the street
without looking both ways
because he's already dead.
Then, he taps on the window
with his grizzly spatula hand.
No!
He opens the door...
( imitates door creaking )
He slowly
approaches the...
( echoing ): counter!
And you know what he does next?
What?
You really want to know?
What?
Are you sure you want to know?
What, what, what does he do?!
He gets you!
( screaming )
( laughing )
( still screaming )
( laughing hysterically )
he get...
Whoo, hoo...
( laughing ): Oh, my...
( screaming continues )
SpongeBob, I...
( screams )
SpongeBob, I was...
( screaming )
I was just...
( screaming )
I was just...
( screaming continuing )
SpongeBob, I was joking!
What?
It's not true, none of it is true.
It's not?
Of course not.
Nobody has a spatula for a hand.
It was all a joke.
Oh.
( laughing )
( continues laughing )
( owl hooting )
( wind whistling, eerie moaning )
( electrical buzzing )
( crickets chirping )
( distant suction sound )
( distant scratching noise )
( suction sound growing louder )
( louder scratching noise )
( loud suction sound )
( loud scratching noise )
( suction sound )
( scratching noise )
( suction sound )
( splashing )
( sloshing )
lsn't this great, Squidward? ( screams )
There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day.
( growling )
Open 24 hours a day.
What a stupid idea.
Who wants a Krabby Patty at 3:00 in the morning?
( alarm ringing )
Oh, boy, 3:00 a.m.!
( munching )
Just look at this place.
It's like a ghost town in here.
( switch flipping )
Very funny, SpongeBob.
What?
"And the lights will flicker on and off..."
just like the story, I get it.
( switch flipping )
Hey, Squidward,
how are you doing that
without moving the switch?
I'm not doing it.
It must be the stupid faulty wiring in here.
This place isn't built to run 24 hours a day.
( phone ringing )
What, what? Hello?
Hello?
Nice try, Squidward.
Nice try, what?
"The phone will ring and there will be no one there!"
Oh, you crack me up.
SpongeBob, I'm not doing this.
Oh, calm down, calm down.
All right, what was it?
There was... the lights...
( switch flipping )
...and the phone.
( phone rings )
And the walls will ooze green slime!
Oh, wait.
They always do that.
But what was that third thing?
( wind whooshing )
( brakes screeching )
( door squeaking )
I didn't know the buses ran this late.
They don't.
Well, they're dropping someone off.
( screaming )
That's the Sash-Wringing...
The-the Flash-Singing...
The Fash... P-Pinging...
The Hash-Slinging Slasher!
( crying ): Oh...
At last, you understand; we're doomed.
No, that's not it.
I am just so touched
that you would go to the trouble
to dress up as a ghostly fry cook
and stand on the other side of the street
just to entertain me.
( sobbing ): You must really like me!
SpongeBob,
there are two problems with your theory.
One: I hate you.
And two:
How can that be me, when I'm standing right here?!
( tapping )
( screaming )
BOTH: The Hash-Slinging Slasher!
( babbling hysterically )
Ahh! He's going to flip me!
Get away, get away!
SpongeBob, no matter
what I've said,
I've always sort of liked you!
Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!
Huh?
Get away, get away, get away!
You're not welcome here!
Can I have a job application?
I brought my own spatula.
I called earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.
Do you have references?
Wait, if that was you on the phone and you on the bus,
then who was flickering the lights?
Nosferatu!
( electrical frizzing )